Believe the Hype - You're No Impostor
Confidence. When you know you’re all that.
It took some pretty confident women to take up the suffrage movement a hundred years ago, and fight for our right to vote. Against all the norms of that time, they weren’t afraid to challenge gender roles and women’s rights in our society.
Fifty years ago, Apollo 11 launched and landed on the moon, and some women were instrumental in the success of that mission. Margaret Hamilton, a software engineer for the Apollo program, designed software that had to work perfectly if Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins were going to be able to make history and fly to the moon, land on it, and return safely. Yet she caught flack when some male colleagues asked, “Why aren’t you at home with your daughter?”
If Margaret had been concerned about what anyone thought of her, she might have caved to “mom guilt” and called it quits. But she knew she had something vital to contribute to the mother of all projects.
So did the women who were mathematicians who made Apollo’s mission possible by planning the spacecraft’s trajectory to get to the moon. Christine Darden. Katherine Johnson. They were challenged with overcoming two cultural inequalities – they were African-American, AND they were women.
The USA Women’s Soccer team recently showed the world who’s boss, as they competed fiercely and fought to win the World Cup. There was zero room for self-doubt in any member of that team.
Would any of these women have accomplished what they did if they’d allowed their confidence to waver? Not a chance.
So why do I feel like an imposter?
Many women considered to be successful by any measure are always looking over their shoulders, thanks to the “Imposter Syndrome”. Technically not a syndrome, it’s the psychological phenomenon that prevents people from being able to believe and internalize their accomplishments. It stems from lack of confidence and makes us feel like we’re waiting at any given moment for someone to tap us on the shoulder and expose us as frauds. To let us know they’ve figured out we’re not as smart, and not as qualified as we’ve led people to believe.
Where does it come from? These fears of inadequacy?
Megan Dalla-Camina, strategist and author of Lead Like a Woman: Your Essential Guide for True Confidence, Career Clarity, Vibrant Wellbeing and Leadership Success says for many of us, it’s our tendency towards perfectionism, and our fear of failure.
The biggest problem with Imposter Syndrome is that it can hold us back from pursuing new opportunities, exploring new interests, and conveying our worth to colleagues and those in a position to recognize and promote us.
Prove yourself wrong. Here’s how to overcome it.
Voice your feelings with someone in a coaching role, a mentor, or a friend whose opinion you value.
Think about risks that you’ve taken, and the courage they required of you to take them. Journal them.
List your successes and a list of all of your notable experiences and skills.
Write down what makes you unique. What’s your special gift to the world? We all have one.
As Dalla-Camina says, “At the end of the day, remember this: You are here for a reason. In this job, your business, your life, you are worthy. You are better than you think you are. You are smarter than you think you are. You know more than you give yourself credit for. Remember that. And remind yourself as often as you need to.”
Lady Gaga once said, “When I wake up in the morning, I feel like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say, Girl, you're Lady Gaga. You get up and walk the walk today.”
Next time someone tells you that you’re some kind of wonderful – your teammate, your boss, your friend, and even your mother – believe the hype. They may just know you better than you know yourself.
By MNT2LEAD featured writer Yael Fishman
Contact Yael on Twitter or Instagram @yfishman67