MNT2LEARN Leadership Primer Dolly Chugh
How To Let Go Of Being A “Good” Person - And Be A Better Person - Dolly Chugh
Dolly Chugh is a professor at NYU Stern School of Business, a social scientist and author. She is an expert researcher in the unconscious biases and unethical behavior of ordinary, good people. Her book, The Person You Mean To Be: How Good People Fight Bias, was published in 2018.
“Many of us want to feel like (and be seen as) good people but ironically, this makes it harder for us to become better people. Let’s be “good-ish” people instead – people who notice, own, learn from, and address our own biases.”
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
Dolly shares an anecdote about a friend who was told by a taxi driver that she was a “good” person and how happy that made her friend feel. She states that many people care deeply about being seen as a “good” person.
In your experience, is that true for you? For others in your social circle or workplace?
Why is our moral identity so important to us?
Dolly shares that many of us get defensive when our moral ideintiy comes into question - making us move into a defensive mode. She shares that we often work to protect that identity which prevents us from real reflection and/or growth. Does this resonate with you? Why or why not?
What do you think about the idea that our attachment to being a good person keeps us from being a better person?
Dolly describes bounded rationality and how our brain consciously processes 40 of the 11 million pieces of information that we receive.
Remember the drive home example? Have you ever experienced something similar to that?
Do you sometimes feel like you are on overload? What strategies do you/could you use to make you more aware?
Dolly continues to describe her research on bounded ethicality and how our brain makes shortcut associations that reveal unconscious bias. The 11 million and the 40 pieces of information “don’t line up”. She shares examples of unconscious bias in race, gender, and conflict of interest.
When someone points out a mistake, an unintended way you made them feel, how do you respond? Do you own theM? Why or why not? Why is this especially important for leaders?
Do you see that you might work so hard to protect your “good person” image that you may not learn from your mistakes?
How can you move from a “good person” to being “goodish” and benefit personally and professionally by allowing yourself to be vulnerable?
How can you help others - your children, colleagues, friends, subordinates to do the same?
Additional reading